The past month has been one of waiting and seeking the Lord. After getting a second opinion from a doctor I trust, Gregg and I decided that I would undergo a suggested CT scan of my pancreas. My lipase (enzyme) levels were high which could have signaled cancer, pancreatitis, or nothing! Of course, I heard cancer and was tempted to become fearful, but I know fear doesn't come from the Lord. In preparation for the scan, He worked in my heart through my quiet times and prayer. I usually make these posts about what Zeke is up to, but I wanted to share what the Lord has been doing in my heart through this trial.
Proverbs 3:17 says, "Her [wisdom's] ways are of pleasantness and all her paths are peace." Verse 13 says, "Happy is the man that finds wisdom." Gregg and I find ourselves seeking God's wisdom often, and sometimes it's hard to discern exactly what that is. I've found that the more I'm in the Word and spending time in prayer, the easier that is, though. My morning devotion described those verses in this way: "Peace consists not of friendliness of circumstances, but in friendship with the Lord." I love that! The night before the CT scan I felt the most amazing sense of peace...like God was almost telling me it was going to be okay. My circumstances hadn't changed, but my friendship with the Lord gave me peace.
The morning of October 30, my devotion took me to Psalm 34:1-11. Verse 1 says, "I will bless the Lord at all times: His praise shall continually be in my mouth." Verse 4 says, "I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears." Wow, how true this was as I awaited those test results. I made it a point, while not always easy, to praise Him at all times and ask Him to deliver me from my fears. As a negative or fearful thought entered my mind, I took those thoughts captive and audibly spoke praises to the Lord (I am learning to do this all the time). The following morning I was taken to Psalm 81 where verse 7 says, "You called in trouble and I delivered you; I answered you in the secret place..." This was the day I learned that the scan results were normal! Praise God!
I want to try to show Zeke Christ's love as I try to be the Mommy God designed me to be, praying that one day Zeke will choose to accept Christ for his personal savior. I want to honor Gregg as my husband and spiritual leader, and I continue to seek God to learn what that means. God's love always leads to peace, and I pray I bring glory to Him as I go about my life as a wife, mom, daughter, sister, and friend.
Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye Heavenly Host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen
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I promise I'll write a post soon about what Zeke has been doing. He is growing, changing, and developing more each day. We are blessed by him and honored to be his parents!
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